Saturday, 31 May 2008

09 - The endless quests of Nicholas the 1st

2008. Coming into power, Nicholas the 1st decides to set out on many quests in order to appease his people. His most daring quest: increase purchasing power… A story told by God himself!

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Script:

Piploum

Suicides increasing, unemployment rising, prices going up… If only men were of good will, the world would be better…

God

You know Piplum, there are many men of good will who want to change the world and shake things up. But the problem is not always where they think it is.

Piploum

Is it so difficult to improve things?

God

You know, putting Band-aid on an open wound will never solve the problem, even if putting a Band-aid can take a whole man’s life of hard work. By the way, I’m going to tell you the story of Nicholas the First, who decided to undertake many quests for his country…

Piploum

Great! A story!

Sarko

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! As you people know, the emblem of our beautiful kingdom is the cockerel. And as usual, we are in deep troube. Somebody needs to react! But I am ready to win this noble cause. I will clean all this manure with my sword… Water cannons go!

Voixoff du ciel

Ahoy there, valiant knight! Here is your first quest: The masses need food and clothing. They want more money!

Sarko

My coat of arms is in growth’s colours! My first quest will therefore be to free the purchasing power! Were is this poor prisonner kept?

Voix off du ciel

In the dark bastions of economic crisis!

Sarko

It does not frighten me! I will conquer that arrogant crisis which picks a quarrel with me! I will not fail. The ordeals awaiting me on that path are many. However, to this sacrifice I will submit with good grace. Charge!

Sarko

Goodness gracious me, who’s there?

Sarazin

I am the warder of the economic crisis bastion. To defeat me, you will have to join a series of battles against me. Here’s the first one: sword fighting to prevent black gold prices rising!

Sarko

Ah! Arabian gold! Chop chop! I will kill you, I will beat you to death! Aaaah!

Sarko

May I pass away if I am not strong enough!

Sarazin

Pass away then!

Sarko

I am not strong enough! But I am entitled to take my revenge, Saracen!

Sarazin

May it be! Second battle to prevent wheat prices rising…

Foule

The reform is flawed…The reform is flawed…

Sarko

I cannot believe my ears! There is a revolt while I am away on my crusade, nonetheless I have a solemn oath to please all my people! Hence, this will be my next quest, hm!

Sarazin

So you’re fleeing like a coward!

Sarko

I will come back even stronger, you peasant!

Sarko

What’s going on here?

Voix01 - Bug

Taxes on us poor people are rising and rising and we are losing all our rights. We don’t have enough food and clothing.

Sarko

My dear rogues, I have not forgotten you! I am on a noble quest to liberate Lady Economic Growth. I will succeed! I will not fail. In the mean time, here is a present which should please you.

Bug

Oh thank you my lord. You are good, my master.

Sarko

So, are you happy?

Bug

Oh yes! Thank you!

Voix02 - Piploum

You have stolen from the rich to give to the poor. We are saddened. We will go and search somewhere else.

Sarko

No! Stay, my faithful companions…

Voix02 - Piploum

Oh, thank you!

Voix01 - Bug

And what about us?

Sarko

To earn more, you have to work more. That seems fair to me. Now, Leave! Otherwise I’ll put you on guard duty during the next 2 strikes.

Sarazin

Knight! We have a fight to finish. If you still want to liberate purchasing power.

Sarko

Instead of fighting, lets talk about that over some good fare. Maybe we’ll come to an agreement.

Sarko

Sings!

Voixoff

Sir Nicholas, what about your quest?

Sarko
You think it’s funny to drink and to feast with important people? I’ve almost had indigestion twice. I’ll have to start thinking more about myself. A rest would do me good. Which of you gentlemen will lend me a boat, straight away? I said, straight away!

Sarko

What now?

Voixoff

Your popularity ratings are in free fall.

Sarko

My ratings for what? Convene a meeting of the people for 6pm, so that I can give an address. Storm the evening news!

Voixoff

Sir Nicholas, you have forgotten about freeing the hostage in Colombia!

Sarko

Ah yes, good heavens, you’re right! Lets get the rebels! Ah, not like that…a little red wine, my dear rebels?

God

And that’s how Nicholas the First left on his new quest.

Piploum

I understand now that his problem is that he can’t be popular everywhere all the time… He’s going to spend his life trying…

God

In any case when a quest comes to an end, another one starts. And whether it’s on a national or personal level, the peace it brings never lasts long. It always seems to evaporate. And when we do achieve peace, it requires a super human effort which soon runs out, as time goes by.

Piploum

You’re right that everyone has so many battles…family, education, health, pension, environment…

God

And yet, I’ve shown them more than once the path that leads to rest.

Piploum

But why bother resting when you can play the role of a knight of the Round Table.

God

Well then, let them continue to wage war against each other. One more day…


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